Setback

Life was good and everything seemed back to normal.

Summer of 2014 was finally here and we could only think of one, really great way to spend it: Carrot River Landing.

We packed the truck up and hauled the boat behind, making sure we didn't forget the tube, our water skis, or the fishing bait.  Phone chargers were left at home because when the Schmaltz family camps, we "rough it".

No power.  No cell service.  No running water.

Yes, we survived.  When we weren't on the lake or around the fire, we're playing endless rounds of UNO or Skipbo, outside with the volleyball, or challenging each other to a game of Checkers or Chinese Checkers.

Livin' my best life!

As long as it's not too windy outside, my family is on the lake, taking in all the water has to offer.  If it is too windy... steer clear of dad because everybody that knows him knows that he HATES the wind.  Fortunately, we were able to take the boat out onto the water.  After a few hours of fishing, I convinced my dad to let me go for a ski.

"Please dad, I'm tired of fishing, can I ski?" (I wasn't even fishing anyways...but eating chips was getting boring)

After cutting in and out of the wake a few times, my back was starting to feel stiff, but then it began to hurt, really bad, causing me to let go of the rope that connected me to the boat.  I sat in the water while my dad looped around to get me.  I convinced myself that I was good to go for another round...which was a bad idea but fun while it lasted.  After this, I was really sore and blamed my back pain on that.

I told myself over and over that I would just get better tomorrow.  But tomorrow became the next day which turned into the next month.  The pain continued to bother me.

My family went on a two week road trip to Nanaimo, British Columbia later that summer.

1981 kilometers = 22 hours

The trip was long but it felt like it took forever.  Our equinox's seats did not do magic on my mysterious back pain but seemed to do the exact opposite.  No matter what position I moved my body into, nothing eased the pain.

Laying across my sister in the back seat? No.
Sitting up like a normal human? Nope.
Slouching enough to put my feet up by dad's head? Distracting and painful.

I resorted to sitting on pillows which didn't really fix anything but felt better than anything I had previously tried.  Don't get me wrong, B.C. is absolutely beautiful and my back pain did not stop me from experiencing the unique wonders of this astonishing province.  I did not let anything hold me back from swimming in the ocean, picking peaches, feeding kangaroos, or climbing in waterfalls.  I ate way too much ice cream, peaches, and seafood, leaving me with my back pain AND a tummy ache!

School started back up early in September.  I was just beginning my grade ten school year, nervous and excited.  I joined the Senior Girls Volleyball team and began to practice with them the first week of school.

I had a love for sports and that numbed the back pain that I was experiencing.  I carried on and pushed through the pain which seemed to become more difficult to ignore each time I exerted myself.

"It's nothing," I thought, "I'm just sore from practice and it'll go away"

The second week of being on the team became the last week of my entire high school volleyball career.

Monday, September 8th, 2014
Everybody knows how dreadful Mondays are but I had no idea just how bad mine would be.

I woke up (after at least more than one wake up call) and got ready for school.  Because my dad coaches the football team and runs practices before school, Janay and I would either quad or drive 'Old Pam' on the trail across the field to my grandparents' house where the bus would come to pick us up.  After school, Janay had volleyball practice so I went on the bus to Grandma's house.  September is a busy month for my family because not only is there dance, football, and volleyball going on, hunting season was approaching.  I had strict orders to go back home after the bus dropped me off to practice target shooting with my compound bow.  Over the years, I have learned that my guide(s) can do just about everything... except make the kill shot so it was in my best interest to do my part and be prepared.

Once I got the target set up and verified the distance with the rangefinder, I was good to go.  My black and green release was snug on my right hand while my arrow was knocked into place.  My hair was pulled back and my shirt was tight to my arm.  I was set.  As soon as I pulled back, something went seriously wrong in my back.  It took everything out of me to fight the pain and follow through with the shot at the target.  I slowly walked to retrieve my arrow, hoping that my back pain would release but I had to stop and sit on the target.

My friend, Kristian, always used to tell me, "Tianna, I've never seen you cry!" If only he saw me at that moment.

I cried, releasing anger and pain with tears rolling down my cheeks.  I tried to continue with my target practice but this was a terrible lapse in my judgement.  The next shot confirmed that something was really, really wrong.

My back became steadily worse.  I went to the doctor and went for different types of testing.  It all showed that I had nothing wrong.  My back began to spasm uncontrollably.  At this point in my life, the only thing that helped the pain was a really strong muscle relaxant.

"Take 1 twice a day"

I took the first one of the day and 30 seconds later, I was sleeping... I woke up 18 hours later.  I decided that I couldn't take that pill twice a day or else I would be sleeping for the rest of my life.

I'm sure you're all wondering how this has anything to do with ITP and why I'm not just going to the chiropractor or taking Advil.  This is why...

"Go to the chiropractor," we were told by almost everyone who heard about what I was going through. People swear that they can fix everything almost instantly, which I don't doubt at all!  But imagine having approximately 15% of platelets that a "normal" person has.  Chiropractors aren't always gentle, or I guess I should say, as gentle as I NEED them to be.  If I were to go to a chiropractor with low counts, there is a high chance of me walking out with more damage (due to my ITP) than back pain relief.  So needless to say, chiropractors were not something we were prepared to risk in my particular situation at that time.

"Take some Advil!"
It knocks the pain right out after poppin' a couple 200mg pills.  I believe you.  But Advil and ibuprofen are medications that fall into the Anti-Inflammatory category.  They impair the action of the few platelets that I have.  Again, having low platelets, I need every platelet to be as sticky as possible.  Most of the painkillers that would really knock out my pain and reduce inflammation could take a toll on my platelets, causing more negative outcomes than positive.

Robax Heat Wrap

It wasn't easy getting pain relief.  I tried all sorts of remedies like ice, heat, back braces, Tylenol, stretches, and topical rubs.  I resorted to sleeping in a Zero Gravity lawnchair for quite awhile as it put more pressure on certain parts of my back, reducing the spasms.  I also went through a ton of Robax Heat Wraps.  In the end, I could only truly rely on those muscle relaxants for a bit of relief.  My mom decided that it would be best to divide the muscle relaxant tablets into many minuscule pieces because apparently, 18 hours of sleep is a little excessive and the teachers frown upon sleeping through class.

Lawnchair bed

I quit the volleyball team because being on the sidelines all the time became too difficult as I really wanted to play and it physically hurt my back to be sitting on the wooden bench.  I gave up dance because I was missing so much choreography that there was no way I would be able to catch up.  The rest of my school year was dedicated to finding answers about my back while hoping that my platelets were staying stable.

I started to go to physiotherapy to strengthen my back and work on exercises but the relief I would get from a session would last for a short time afterwards if I was lucky.  In the end, we decided that physio alone wasn't the answer.

At around Christmas time, I noticed that my left foot felt different.  It was heavy and not cooperating as well as I wanted it to.  The more I paid attention, I realized that it was numb... from my knee down.  I had no feeling which is why it was feeling like more of a weight than anything.  This scared the doctors, which scared me.  I was scheduled to have an MRI but that didn't pick up anything.

"Pinched nerve? Bulging disc? Tumour?"

I was scheduled to have an MRI and fortunately, it came back clean.  Over time, my leg regained feeling and worked properly again.  We went through the spinal pathway with Bourassa & Associates but remained without answers.  I was determined to play badminton, no matter what.  That determination led me to a sports therapist based out of Nipawin.  I hobbled into his office and the way he looked at me, I knew he was thinking, "this is bad".

Curt Cummings works magic.  I don't know what he did exactly, but he did something that fixed me.  I walked out of his office standing upright, without pain.  When I returned home, I took it upon myself to send snapchats to my friends of me, bending over backwards, in the mirror.  This might sound ridiculous but to put it into perspective, I hadn't been able to stand straight up in months.  I was hunched over since September... this was now April.  I couldn't even straighten my back, let alone bend it backwards.  This was a BIG deal.  Finally, I was getting some relief.

Although Curt fixed me, I still have chronic back pain.  There is absolutely no comparison to how painful it was back then, but some pain is always here.  I gave up all of my sports, except badminton.  But to play badminton, I still had to take part of a muscle relaxant (weaker strength) and Tylenol.  Additional to that, I had to rub Voltaren or A535 on my back throughout the day and wear IcyHot patches during games.  If I failed to do those things, I would pay for it.  I was never able to smash a birdie because my back restricted me from swinging properly.  My worst fear on the court was being flick served..which my opponents picked up on quickly.  Despite the pain and all that I put my partners through, we were successful.

Cameron and I played every season together from grade seven to grade eleven, medaling multiple times in NESSAC competitions.
Kyler and I played together in my very last season, making it to regionals.

Just like my ITP, I have not let my flawed back rule my life (for too long).  They are both a major part of my life and influence my decisions daily.  Both ITP and my chronic back pain restrict me from doing certain activities.  For example, I can't go sliding down Pasquia Park hill because my platelets are too low, my back isn't strong enough... and mom won't let me.

We never did find out exactly why my back flared up the way it did but we know that certain things influenced it:

• When I was a baby, I never crawled.  As a result, certain core muscles are undeveloped.
• I have mild scoliosis.  The muscles on the left side of my back pull and get strained more than on the right.
• When I fell in volleyball in grade eight, I jammed something in my hip that may have messed things up in my back
• ...and all the things that I'm sure didn't help (waterskiing, a 1981km roadie, and shooting my bow)

After this long write up, I'd like to share a few more things we learned:

1. Always listen to your body, even when it is inconvenient 
2. Just because something works for someone, doesn't mean it will work for everybody
3. SUV's are terrible for people with bad backs
4. My mom should stick to travel souvenirs like keychains and coffee mugs... not Monkey Trees (google it)
5. Being able to bend over backwards is a super big deal 
6. The second biggest part of a backpack is always "Tianna's Personal Pharmacy"
7. I am truly the most annoying person to travel with

Two steps forward, one step back.

Your fragile friend, Tianna